Shot in the Dark
by Josef Mojave
Summary: It takes just one shot to turn Squall Leonhearts world upside down, and send the sharpshotter searching for some answers. Squally angst, and if he's lucky a little bit more.
1. The debreifing

Disclaimer: I do not own any of this, good god I wish I did, but it all belongs to the good people of Square-Enix who provide my mind with good things to think about

A/N: This may turn into a romance after I get the feel of what's going on down, if it does then I suggest anyone opposed to anything even at least slightly yaoi based leave now. Also this takes place 2 years (give or take 8 months) after the defeat of Ultimecha Squall and Rinoa are currently together as the game dictates, but that wont last for long if i have any say in it. One more thing, Irvine is with Selphie, sortof, Zell is 'just his room mate'

* * *

Irvine's Pov

HN. He smells so good. I wonder if he knows it, I could never tell, he's so closed... He lifts his stormy grey eyes and looks at me. His lips part slowly, a light tongue darting over his pouty lips slowly. Hyne I think I'm hypnotized. His lips move slowly, his face so light and perfect, like a porcelain doll, the only visible imperfection is the red little scar across the bridge of his nose. It's hard to believe that someone so gentle looking could be the savior of the planet, the commander of a military organization, a perfectly honed killing machine and strong enough to knock almost any man on his ass if pushed. Those cloudy grey eyes are fixed on mine, sucking me in.

"Irvine" He said, his voice light and airy as a feather. "Kinneas!" I think I imagined it, he's frowning.

"Sorry what?" He's rubbing the bridge of his nose anxiously. Damn it must have been something important.

"The mission."

"Oh right." I totally forgot, this was a de-briefing. After three weeks without seeing his pretty face I just got swept away by it. Now he's glaring at me.

"The mission was a success."

"Caraway, you took care of him?"

"Was there ever any doubt in the finest sharpshooter in all of Garden?" I knew I was grinning. I hoped to get a reaction from him, usually I can warm people up a little -- I've heard my smile is sweet as honey. He just looks back at his paperwork, scribbling something down in his report. Squall and his famous reports. "It went off without a hitch. Just one bullet." He let out a sigh; he must have been really stressed. Ordering the execution of his fiancée's father, he must have felt guilty. I almost felt guilty, then I remembered why we had to do it. "Was there any news about Galbadia?"

"No."

"Oh... alright. Is that alright then? Are we done?"

"Yeah. Good work. You're dismissed."

"Commander," When I got to the door I looked back at him. He was slumped over his desk; the stress was obviously getting to him. I walked back over to the desk silently. "Squall." He lifted his head to look up at me, chocolate brown hair framing his face. His eyes were bluer than I ever remembered. His brow was furrowed and his eyes were shiny with tears. "Squally, it's not your fault." I whispered softly, lifting his chin and whipping a tear from his cheek. He felt as smooth as he looked.

"If Rinoa finds out... she... no one will ever love me again." He said it softly; I almost thought that I'd imagined it. I had never seen him so upset, not since we left the orphanage. I brushed my hand across his cheek, it was a bold move, but I had to do something, sometimes he really is like porcelain. He leaned into my caress, nuzzling my hand like a kitten.

"Squally, everything will be okay. We are SeeD, and you were just doing you job. It's your job to keep everyone safe, and you did. There's nothin' to feel guilty about Darlin'. Things'll turn out, alright?" He nodded quietly, his eyes fixed on the table, thick dark lashes veiling those sad stormy eyes just getting bluer and bluer by the second. I wanted to wrap my arms around him, but in a moment the walls were back up and he was in Commander Mode again. He pulled away from my touch and went back to writing neatly on his desk. "If you ever need anything --"

"– Whatever."

* * *

When I got back to the dorm I still had squall on my mind.

"Hey, welcome back man." Zell said with a grin.

"Did you miss me?" I know I'm grinning as big as he is but I miss the little chocobo when I'm gone.

"I couldn't sleep without you Baby!"

"Eeew Irvy, are you sleeping with Zell again?"

"I thought I locked that." Zell says sending her a bright smile then returning to his shadow boxing.

"Hello to you too." Selphie says sticking her tongue out. She's like a little ray of sunshine.

"Hey."

"Irvy!" she shouts trapping me in a tight hug. "I missed you!"

"Missed you too sunshine." She giggled a little, before planting a kiss on my cheek.

"Dirty ole' Zelly didn't already have his way with you, did he?"

"Hey! Quit talking about me like I'm a sexual predator! I'd worry more about Mr. Lady's man over here. He's the sex maniac, not me!"

"I bet you don't say that when you've got Irvy all alone." Selphie says with a giggle. Zell is banging on his punching bag.

"Well Sunshine, to what do I owe the pleasure?"

"Well..." She shifted nervously. "You know that I'm the correspondent for Tibia Garden, so I need to know how it went."

"Now that wasn't so hard to say was it, baby?"

"Turn it off already Kinneas you're gonna make me gag." Zell says, scrunching his face at me for emphasis. I can't help but chuckle.

"You're just jealous!" Selphie shouts at him, bouncing up and down, before turning her attention back to me with a completely serious expression. "I know you don't like it, you know?"

"Hey, it's what I'm good at." I say with a shrug. "The situation was terminated."

"Thank you." She says with a slight bow.

"No need to thank me Darlin'" She favored me with a particularly sweet smile.

"I should go report back to Garden."

"Lock the door behind you!" Zell shouts after her. He stops bouncing back and forth and turns his attention to me. It always strikes me how Zell and Selphie have almost the same hyper energy. "You alright?"

"Yeah." Zell knows better than anybody how stressed out I get right after a mission, and this particular mission was worse than usual, top secret, and affecting all of my friends personal lives. Damn Carraway. He couldn't have just stayed on the level.

"Do you want to go out for a drink?" Zell asked His bright blue eyes wide with concern.

"Whiskey?"

"Sure, my treat."


	2. Esthar

Quitis' Pov

* * *

"Quitis?" A deep baritone voice repeats shortly.

"What? That's instructor Trepe to you Seif—-" I can feel my face getting hot.

"You need to let up on the GF junctions. Or are you just getting senile?" He says, letting an arrogant smirk play across his features.

"Seifer Almasy! I'm not even eight-teen days older than you! You cannot call _me _senile." He just keeps smirking. It's my own fault, I didn't argue with Squall when he assigned me to help Seifer get adjusted; I should have known better. After his short stay in FH Seifer, Fujin and Rajin reapplied for the SeeD test at Tibia Garden and passed. In a year Seifer had risen the ranks at Tibia and Squall the head of the three Gardens as well as Commander of Balamb Garden, decided to give Seifer a promotion. Hyne knows why, he's horrible at following instructions.

"So tell me again Instructor Trepe." He pauses for emphasis; I think I'm getting a headache. "Why are we in Esthar?"

"Well, as you know Commander Leonheart—"

"Drop the formality, what does Squall want?" I was a little surprised that he said Squall's name. The two of them have been avoiding one another like the plague since we defeated Ultimecia. Squall never told mw what exactly happened between them, but by the way they both avoid the subject, I have an idea.

"Alright Seifer, you know that Squall promoted me to Balamb's headmaster and the chief correspondent between the Gardens."

"Yeah," He says, folding his arms across his chest, still as impatient as ever. "And?"

"That's why I'm here." I fiddle with my glasses. If he's going to be this impatient than I'm just going to make him wait longer.

"Get to the point!" He snaps, his light blue eyes flashing for a moment before he gets himself under control. He has reformed a bit. "What dies he want with me?" He asks, shifting uncomfortably. He still hasn't apologized, to Squall or Balamb. Maybe that's why he went to Tibia instead of coming home.

"The fourth Garden has been under construction for the past two and a half years."

"What? Fourth Garden?" He frowns, his scar wrinkling with his brow. "And he stationed me out in the middle of nowhere?" He looks hurt, focusing his eyes on the ground and kicking at the desert sand.

"Not exactly." He looks up at me hopefully. "President Loire agreed with Squall at the end of the war, that Esthar could benefit from having its own Garden, and they began construction at once." He looks at me sideways, trying to stay calm waiting for me to finish. "You will have to learn to work side by side with President Loire." He blinks, putting it together.

"What?"

"Well, Esthar Garden will be the second largest of the four. Squall felt he needed someone he trusted to be Commander." He runs his hand through his hair, leaning his head into the motion of his hand, and then looks back at me.

"SO are you Esthar's Commander? What does that have to do with me?" He grumbles, slipping out of his grey trench coat, the heat must be getting the better of him.

"No, I told you that I am just the correspondent."

"Oh well that explains everything." He says sarcastically, folding his trench coat in slow motions to help quell his anger.

"Squall, as well as the rest of us have noticed your record in Tibia, it's exemplary, and Xu said you were her best Soldier."

"What, have you all been watching me?" He shouts, throwing his trench coat into the red-ish-orange dust. "You and Puberty boy don't think I can manage without fucking things up? Is that it?" He spat.

"Seifer, we're family. We just wanted to make sure that you we're alright."

"Family." He repeats softly.

"Of course."

"I thought you all hated me – after what I did." He seems to be finding the ground very interesting again.

"It wasn't your fault. You we're under the Sorceress' control, and we all understand that. We love you Seifer." He nods but stays focused on the dirt.

"Although, you should still apologize to everyone." He flinches but doesn't say anything. "Esthar Garden has recently been completed, and will start up classes and military training as soon as Headmaster Cid and the Commander arrive."

"Cid? But what about Matron?"

"They're doing just fine, and the orphanage has been restored, but Cid insisted on being here to help out the new commander. He loves you too. And he is the founder of Garden, who are we to refuse him."

"What? What the hell are you—me?" His light blue eyes widen. "I'm—" This is one of the few times I've ever seen Seifer speechless.

"Squall was impressed with you record. We all were. He thought that you would be the best Man for the job."

"He said all that?" He asked, as faint blush covering his sharp features.

"Yes he did."

"He really has changed."

"Well you have been gone for two years."

"Yeah," He says with a sigh.

"So Commander, would you like to see your new Garden?" His mouth opens and closes again.

"What about Fuj and Raj?" He says, frowning again.

"Squall said that if you wanted, he would transfer both Fujin and Rajin to Esthar. You will need aides after all."

"Yeah." He says, a bright smile spreading across his face. "Puberty boy really thought of everything didn't he?" He says with a chuckle.

"Who are you calling Puberty Boy?" Oh Hyne, Laguna heard him. I don't need Seifer starting an incident on his first day.

"Oh, just Commander Squall-I've-got-a-stick-up-my-ass-and-like-it Leonheart." Seifer says, with a chuckle, turning to Laguna.

"Well," Laguna says with an unnatural frown. His long black (and grey) hair which normally spills over his slim shoulders is tied up at the back of his head, and he's wearing a smoky Grey three-peace suit with a powder blue shirt and a grey tie, instead of his normal Hawaiian shirt and shorts. He must be trying to make a good impression. "You must be Seifer."

"Yeah, what's it to ya?"

"I'm Laguna Loire, President of Esthar. Nice to meet you," He says, still frowning. When Laguna frowns it seems like the strain might break him.

"Oh! Nice to meet you sir," Seifer says bowing lightly.

"Now, first things first, don't insult my son." Laguna says grimly.

"I've never met your son Mr. Loire." Seifer says with a frown.

"I believe you just called him 'Puberty Boy'." Seifer's eyes widen.

"Squall? You're Squall's father?" He coughs out.

"Yes, we found out some time ago." I say trying to keep from laughing.

"Oh... Crap." Seifer groans slapping his hand to his forehead. "I... um... Sorry President Lorie." He grumbles out awkwardly. I never would have heard the old Seifer apologies. He's just lucky that Laguna is such a pushover. Laguna finally lets loose one of his patented smiles.

"Call me Laguna. Anyone that's a friend of my son is a friend of Esthar." Seifer blinks nervously. "It's nice to meat you Seifer, I can call you Seifer can't I?" Laguna asks in one breath shaking Seifer's hand. Laguna then turns his attention to me, loosing sight of Seifer. "Have you made any contact with Martine?" His voice switching from sweet and friendly to dead serious in the blink of an eye, Seifer seemed astonished.

"None as of yet. Squall and Xu have been working on it."

"Oh, I see. And about Carraway?" He asks in a low voice.

"We should talk about this in the Commander's office." I remind him; usually he has Kiros around to keep him in check.

"Of course," He says blushing lightly. "It's wonderful to see you again Quitis." He says pulling me into a tight paternal hug. Since Squall and Laguna started spending more time together, Laguna's been fatherly to all of us. Pretty soon Seifer will be receiving the same treatment.

"It's nice to see you too Laguna."

"Ahem" Seifer coughs. "What about Galbadia?"

"Right now, we're in the middle of a conflict with Galbadia Garden, and Deiling City. Are you still up for being a commander? We may have to deal with another war."

"I wouldn't back down." He says simply.

We start walking towards the Garden's gates, Seifer scrambling to pick up and dust off his trench coat before catching up with us.

"I've heard a lot about you Seifer. You grew up with Squall and Elle."

"Elle? You mean Ellone?"

"Yes, I'm... Ellone was my wife's daughter. She's Squall's sister you know?" Laguna just kept on rambling. I prepared myself for a retelling of his life story; From being a soldier with Kiros and Ward, loving Julia, Meeting the Shumi and the Moomba, Waking up in Winhill and falling for Raine, searching for Ellone, liberation Esthar, becoming President, and finally finding Squall again. But that's okay. Seifer hasn't heard any of it yet, so I don't mind listening.


	3. Whiskey

Zell's POV

* * *

Irvine is drinking more that usual. I guess he's really feeling guilty. I wish he'd believe me and Selphie when we say it's not his fault. He swallows down another gulp of Whisky, setting the cup down for a refill. At this rate we're going to need a stomach pump and I'm almost out of Gil. Goodbye Hot dogs and June issue of Combat king. He takes another gulp and the lady behind the counter just hands him the bottle. Hyne he's going to drink himself to death.

"Come one cowboy, don't you think you've had enough?" He shakes his head lazily, his hair flopping back and forth, hat slipping and dropping to the floor and he throws his head back and takes another gulp pouring himself another glass. I pick up his hat and set it next to the glass on the table.

"Thanks Darlin'" He drawls sleepily. We've been here all night. We started playing drinking games, but after the 3rd round I figured that since I'm driving I shouldn't have anymore. Whiskey bites too much for me anyways. After awhile he just stopped rambling about women and needing some fun, and just started downing it. I pill out my last 1000 Gil and try to hand it to the bartender; she shakes her head and says it's on the house. Thank Hyne; he can be charming even when he's drunk.

"Irvine." He looks at me and tilts his head like a puppy listening, I big tall violet eyed puppy. What the hell am I thinking? "How about we get back home."

"Can't, can't be there when Noa finds out." Oh. He's waiting till Rinoa finds out that Caraway's dead. Fuck that, it could be days before she finds out and she's still in Timber. By the time she gets back I'll be broke and he will have coked to death on his own vomit. "Irvine, we have to go back some time."

"You can go on home without me." He says, sighing and letting his eyelashes fall closed. I think he's asleep for a moment but then he speaks softly; so softly I have to lean in closer, and the smell of whiskey on his breath fills my nostrils. "I killed him, so ah can't be there when she finds out. I can't pretend that it's an injustice and that I'll kill whoever did it to make her feel better. I did it, had every reason too. Orders, protectn' ma friends, making sure my ole Garden doesn't get destroyed" He sighed, he was really drunk, the alcohol is finally starting to wash away his charm, but it was all true. It was either Carraway or us; we still have to deal with Martine. He did what he had to. But as much as he says it, I know he doesn't believe it. He never believes that there's a good reason for what he does after it's done. He just feels guilty.

"Yeah, you did the right thing. But you can't hide out here all night."

"I wish Quitsy and Sis were here. They would know what to do." He's right, but what can I do? Everyone's busy now. Selphie filing reports, Quitis and Laguna setting things up in Esthar, the one time I saw Squall he looked like he was about to blow away with the wind, and Mr. Feel Good over here is too drunk to be good to anybody. Damn Caraway. This is a mess.

"We're going home." I say firmly, hoping that he doesn't get angry. Last time I pissed him off while he was drunk I had a black eye for a week. He could Duel if he wasn't so into his guns.

"But—"

"Don't worry about Rinoa, you wont have to see her tonight."

"Kay," He says smoothly, putting his hat on in a fluid motion, flashing a grin at the bartender as he stands. After she turns to another customer he wobbles and falls into me. Sometimes it's hard to live with a cowboy, but he's my best friend. I sigh as I pull his arm over my shoulder and help him walk slowly.

"Come on, let's go."


	4. Waiting

Squall stayed in his office for hours, waiting for news of Caraway's death to be on the news. He wasted the hours away checking reports on minor missions, and the movement of Deiling and Galbadia's forces. He also sent messages back and forth to Xu and Quitis, and dodged a few from his father. If he talked to him now he would harass hi, until he talked about his feelings, and he wasn't ready for that. He was still wondering how to address Seifer. He certainly was qualified for the job, and level 30 SeeD just like the rest of the Orphanage gang, but he was made to be a leader. He even thought that if Seifer had stayed in Balamb that he would have his job. Never mind that he was wrong, when Rinoa if back in Timber it gives Squall plenty of time to think. Right now thinking is the worst thing possible.

* * *

Squall's POV

Hyne, I ran out of work to do. It's only midnight. Damn. I re-file all the reports I pulled and log out of my computer. I pass through all of the command offices, and they're all empty, the lights are out. Maybe people aren't working hard enough. If Quitis was here she would whip me for even thinking it. I get back to my room. Our room. My room. I can't decide. Before she left for Timber Rinoa insisted on moving into my dorm, so I guess when she gets back I'll have to move in all her boxes and fill my space with toys for the dog and her jewelry, and clothes, mirrors. She'll want mirrors everywhere, and bright colors, and stuffed animals. Hyne, Hyne, Hyne. I'm not ready for this. Can't I just get used to living with Angelo first? Oh well. When she finds out about Caraway, and that I made the order, it'll be over anyways. Irvine did it clean, I'm sure, he is the best. She may never know that we were involved. But I'll know. I wonder how Irvine's doing. Caraway wasn't that bad... he was pompous, and pushy, and disrespectful... hell he was that bad. But shit. How many people can say they killed their Fiancée's father? I bet not many with happy relationships. I stare at my white walls and imagine them covered in red and orange and yellow, like her room. I definitely can't take that. I wonder if she knows yet. Would she call me as soon as she found out? Yeah she would. Never mind that I'm crap with people. Never mind that I have important work to do. Hyne-Fucking-Damn. I can't just wait here. I slip out of my uniform. I think I'm just going to stop wearing it all together, accept for meetings, because I hate this thing. I slip into my comfortable black leather pants and a white t-shirt, I slip my gloves on. I hate not wearing my gloves. My hands are too sensitive for that. I slip on my jacket and pick up Lionheart. It's been a couple days since I had time to get some training in. At this rate Seifer's going to beat me. That's it I'm going on more missions. I lock up my dorm and head down to the Training Center, slicing up some Grats should make me feel better.


	5. A simple answer

Seifer's POV

"So... What's the deal with Martine?" I hoped to Hyne he wasn't going to go on to another rant. No wonder Squall never talks, Laguna must've sucked it all out of him when he was a baby.

"Well, I'm not exactly sure." Laguna says simply. He reclines in one of the chairs in my new office. It looks just like Cid's office... I mean Squall's office. They made it a smaller; brightly colored copy, looks like that bimbo Rinoa designed the whole things. Well, it is a little fancier than Balamb; I swear Squall did it just to piss me off.

"That's it?" All this time he can't stop talking, but when I need info he's silent. I start rubbing my forehead irritated. I think I'm gonna snap. When are Fuj and Raj getting here?

"Seifer, relax. Fujin and Rajin will be here tomorrow, along with your things." Quitis says shifting her glasses again. In that uniform, she's got this sexy librarian vibe going. "Seifer." Damn she can still tell what I'm thinking. "Martine went silent two months ago. No representatives from either Balamb or Tibia have been able to step foot in Galbadia since." She's in instructor mode. She and Squall are two of a kind. They're both Ice Princesses. She raises her eyebrow, I think she heard that. Damn Blue Magic.

"Commander?" She says with a slight smirk. I can see her running her hand over Save the Queen.

"Yeah?"

"Are you paying attention?"

"Yes, yes, just get to the point." I say, trying not to fidget, I hate waiting. Laguna just sits peacefully. He's so slim and dainty; I can see where Squall gets it.

"Martine had a hard time taking orders from Squall. He thought him too young and unqualified."

"What! He saved the whole fucking planet!" I pounded my fist on the table.

"Martine didn't believe it was possible." Laguna says softly.

"Yes, Martine has been difficult to deal with since we denied his requests to transfer Irvine back to Galbadia. And when he heard who Squall intended to make Esthar Garden's Commander..."

"Me? ... This is about me?" I can't believe this. I'm still causing everybody trouble.

"Martine didn't like the idea of the last sorceress' knight being commander of Garden. He objected to making Xu Tibia's Commander as well." She says opening up some files she brought with her. "He was witnessed making contact with General Carraway. They we're the chief objectors when Squall held talks in Balamb last winter about the liberation of Timber."

"What the hell was he thinking? Of course they won't give up their territory."

"Yes, well Rinoa insisted. He did offer to pay for the territory but they declined the offer."

"Oh the Sorceress." I grumble. I can't stand that attention whore. I mean we were only together for a short time, put that's all it took to get her in bed and then I realized what a spoiled, air headed little princess she was. She wasn't even good. I can't believe Squall of all people got sucked in by her damsel in distress act. She's better off with a wimpy little shit like Zone, but not Squall. She's too needy for him too demanding. Man I hate her.

"Rinoa is a nice girl." Laguna says with a smile. "She may have power, but she doesn't need any harm. Beside Elle's a sorceress too, and you don't have a problem with that do you?"

"Ellone's... she's sis. She's different. I don't hate Rinoa because she's a Sorceress; I hate her because she's SL—" Save the Queen snaps across the table and slaps across my side. That's going to bruise. Laguna snickers, and falls into a burst of uncontrollable laughter. When it finally subsided his aquamarine eyes focused on me. Wow, they both feel like water. "But anyways... Ellone's wonderful; she's so sweet she could never be evil." And she'll never be a dumb-assed annoying princess.

"Yes she is wonderful." Laguna beams. He must be really proud of her. I guess he's okay, I mean anybody who could make Squall and protect Sis must be worth respecting, even if he is a loud-mouthed goof-ball. At least he doesn't talk as much as Chickie.

"Boys!" Quitis says, clearing her throat. "Honestly, you're worse than first year cadets."

"Sorry instructor Trepe." I say with a grin, for a minute I think she's going to whip me again, but she just looks down at her papers. "So our dear Ice Princess was making enemies?" I ask. Laguna tries to glare at me but fails miserably. "Sorry, it slipped."

"Under Caraway's instruction the Deiling and Galbadia armies closed in on Dollet, Timber and Winhill."

"Why Winhill? There's nothing there."

"They did it to stick it to both me and Squall," Laguna states. I wish he wouldn't just get serious like that out of nowhere.

"We caught word of plans to move on the city of Balamb and Tibia Garden."

"The chief of Shumi village contacted me when Carraway tried to organize weapons upgrades for Galbadia, and plans for tanks. It's a good thing that Squall and I have been friends with the Shumi for years. Otherwise we would already be fighting them off." Laguna says grimly.

"There must be more to it." I say finally. "This can't be as simple as a power struggle."

"It may not be, but we don't have all the details." Quitis explains stiffly. "Cid advised us to honor our on-going contract with Timber, and we also accepted contracts form Dollet and Winhill to deal with Martine, Carraway, and Galbadia."

"Deal with them... so is the another Garden war?"

"We don't know. Martine doesn't seem to know how to control Galbadia as an airship, so we seem to be safe for the time being. Our first contract was to an underground faction in Deiling City, and the mayor of Winhill to eliminate General Carraway."

"Wait, isn't Carraway Rinoa's father?"

"Irvine was sent to Deiling city twenty-one days ago. His mission was completed at 0100 hours yesterday."

Irvine, now what does he do? He's a sniper right? And Squall sent him to deal with Carraway.

"Oh!"


	6. Zell's confusion'

Zell's POV

I hate dealing with Irvine when he's drunk. He's always all touchy feely, and I don't know what to do with it. After I got him into bed—I had to leave his vest and his chaps on, he'll probably be pissed when he wakes up, but after I got his coat and his boots off He started trying to get my shirt off. Only Irvine would use a line as cheesy as "Save a horse and ride a cowboy." When he tried to unzip my fly I bolted. I picked up my gloves and went straight for the training center. What the hell else am I supposed to do you know? I've got a lot of pent up energy to burn.

When I get to the Training center I slip on my gloves and head through the first door. I find a trail of dead Ochu. Damn, somebody beat me to them. Grat blood is smeared across the dirt. Who killed everything?! I start shadow boxing. This is bad, if I don't do something I feel like I'm going to explode. I follow the trail or Grat blood across the bridge and find Squall at the edge of the small island, a T-Rexar's teeth locked on Lionheart.

"Hey Squall, can I lend a hand?" He eyes me for a moment, and then nods, gritting his teeth as the T-Rexar pushes him closer to the edge. He picked a hell of a place to fight something that big. I rush the beast from behind, hammering at it with my fists. Then I drop my heel on its tail, and wait till I hear the snap. It turns to me as I hone my energy, then I pummel it as hard as I can. I nod to Squall as I flip back and kick it in the jaw. He rushes the T-Rexar and slashes it's tail clean off, and shoots it in the spine. It growls wildly, blood splattering everywhere as it turns to attack him. I take the opportunity to hop on its tail and flip up, punching and kicking it in the back of the neck before I flip back to the ground. Squall leans back and shoots it straight in the head, blood shooting out the back and trickling down its scaly back as it wails in pain opening its bent jaw to devour him. He pounces like a hungry cat, and hacks at its neck, passing through its flesh in two swipes and then fires blowing its head clean off. Its boy takes a few steps back then falls back making a heavy thump on the ground, blood and dirt raining down on us both.

"Wow!" I say, bouncing up and down. "What a rush man!" His eyes are closed and he sighs, sitting down, Crap he's depressed isn't he?

"Squall?"

"HN?"

"What's up?" I say, bouncing back and forth, replaying the battle with my fists. He watches me for a moment, and then closes his eyes again, leaning back against a palm tree. "Is something bothering you?" I know it's about Irvine's mission, but he has to at least say it.

"It's nothing." His eyes are still closed.

"Oh, come on Squall!" I shout punching air. "I'm your friend!" He opens his eyes and looks me over. I wonder if I'm the only person that feels like they're completely naked under his scrutiny.

"I know." He says softly, licking his pouty lips, I try not to pay attention. He doesn't say anything more so I just sit with him. Just because he won't talk to me doesn't mean that I'll give up. I scoot closer and pat him on the shoulder, he just leans on me, letting those thick brown eyelashes flutter closed. His breathes are slow and I can feel his body softening against me.

"Squall?" He doesn't respond. Great. He's a sleep. I look over at him, his wispy eyelashes set closed. His feathery chocolate locks sticking to his pale face, he's glowing with a sheen of sweat, his plump pink lips parted, warm breath brushing over my collar bone. Damn, first Irvine, now Squall. Why is everyone trying to tempt me today?

* * *

A/N: It's taking so long for me to upload Gomen, I've been tied up with the school.  



	7. The news

Rinoa's POV

I couldn't wait to get home to Squally; I spent all week in Timber trying to help out Zone and Watts. Galbadia soldiers were all over the place and it was hard to get anything done. All I could think about was coming home. Angelo follows me down the hall, his tongue hanging out; he misses my Squally bear too. I'm glad that Quitis is off on some mission, I wouldn't want her sinking her claws into him while I'm gone. He's my knight; jus because they grew up together and she has a little power doesn't mean she can take him from me. I pass Zone and go straight to my room. I wonder what Squally's thinking. I open the junction to our link. He always says not to use it but what harm can it do. _Squally what are you thinking?_

_ What am I going to do? I wonder if Rinoa knows yet. What the hell am I supposed to do with this...? I wonder how Irvine is doing._

_Irvine? Why isn't he thinking about how I'm doing? What's so special about him?_

Zone opens the door without knocking, he's lucky I didn't hit him with a fire bolt. Angelo runs up and starts molesting his leg.

"Tee Hee! I think he missed you!" He blushes and tries to shake him off.

"Hey Princess." Watts says strolling with a grin. It's always nice to come and visit the forest owls. The guys in Balamb don't pay this much attention to me because I'm the commander's girl, so when I come home it's nice to be appreciated. He frowns a little. "Have you heard the news?"

"What news?" I ask pouting at the fact that they know something I don't. "Is it about Squally?" Zone frowns, and Watts shakes his head. "Then what?"

"It's about your father."


	8. Big sisters

Selphie's POV

I can't believe she found out already.  
I mean I know she's part of an underground organization and everything, but they're really poorly organized. Who'd have thought that they had informants? They better not be from Balamb, because if they are I'm gonna be beating cadets black and blue with my morning star.  
Noa called me about two hours ago and asked me to pick her up at Balamb station. I hope Squall doesn't mind me borrowing that Yellow hummer again. Everything is so messed up and Quitsy's gone, I guess it's my turn to try and be big Sis.


	9. Tantrum

Rinoa's POV

I couldn't stop crying. Watts and Zone just ran out after awhile, Some B.S. about avoiding Galbadian soldiers and driving the train. Nothing should be more important than me, I'm hurting now! I tried to call Squally but nobody answered. Why isn't he home this late? Who would want to hurt my daddy? What am I going to do? Does this mean I have to deal with the stupid mansion? What kind of monster would do this to me? I hear the train come to a screeching halt, we must be at Balamb. I wish Squally was picking me up.

"Rinoa..." Zone says nervously from behind the door. "Selphie is here to pick you up"

"Outta the way!"

"Hey!" There's a big thump in the hallway.

"Noa!" Selphie shouts bursting through the door, pulling me into a bone crushing hug. Zone's pulling himself off the floor. "Come on Noa; let's get back to the car."

* * *

A/N: Yes, yes I know, I made Rinoa kind of a tart, but I couldnt help it. I mean the whole first half of the game she's madly in love with seifer and then she falls in love with squall because he's there? It seems like he's her second best. shaking my head not cool.  



	10. A bad Hangover

Irvine's POV

I woke up to a pounding on the common door; it was hard to pay attention to over the pounding of my head. I feel like I got dropkicked by an Iron Giant.

"Irvy! Open up! It's me and Noa!" I grabbed the trash can by the closet and threw up. Thank Hyne its plastic. Fuck and it's still the middle of the night. I stumble over to the door and unlock it. Why the hell didn't Zell get it?

"Irvine!" Rinoa shouts with a sniffle, clinging around my waist, soaking my vest with tears and sniffles, her makeup is smeared all over her face, mascara, blush and foundation making ugly swirls on her cheeks. "My father.... Somebody killed him." She sniffles out, whipping her nose on my vest. Fuck, I'm gonna be sick again.

"Hold on!" I shout, tearing her off of me and setting her on the couch before running off to vomit again. I wash my moth out, take a deep breath, and go back out to the physical manifestation of my worst nightmare.

"Are you okay Irvy?"

"Fine Sunshine, just fine. Now, Rinoa, why don't you go get some rest?"

"I went to Squally's room, but he wasn't there, and I didn' want to be alone." She sniffled, her eyes filling up with water again. Damn, but what the hell am I supposed to do now? I knew we shoulda stayed at the Bar.


	11. You never know who you'll wake up next 2

Squall's POV

I woke up at about four. Dawn was breaking, sunlight spilling through the slits in the training center wall, mixing with artificial light. I feel something warm shift against me. I turn.

"Zell!" The spiky headed blonde is sleeping peacefully. I must have fallen to sleep on him. Hyne, that's embarrassing. I kick his leg gently, and then, not so gently.

"OW! Fucking Seifer!" He shouts, jumping to his feet in full combat mode. After a moment his eyes widen and he realizes it's me, his bright blue eyes pools against his crimson cheeks. "Squall... I uh..." He's scratching his neck and trembling like a puppy. Is he scared of me?

"Thanks"

"What?" He says, snapping out of his nervousness, eyes focused on me.

"Thanks for being my friend." I say, Hyne this is the most embarrassing day of my life.

"Thanks, I—"

"Blood"

"What?" He looks down at his clothes, we're both covered in dry T-Rexar blood. "Maybe you should shower up." That was close he was about to say something uncomfortable I could tell.

"What about you?"

"I'm just going home."

* * *

**A/N: **Poor Zelly, he's all confused and nobody will give him the right kind of attention  



	12. A rising fear

Irvine's POV

By the time I finally got Rinoa to calm down Selphie was asleep on the couch and it was light out side. I feel like stomach acid is burning holes through my insides. And now is when Zell decides to walk through the door. He freezes when he sees me, both Rinoa and Selphie passed out in my lap. His eye's are wide as a deer's in headlights, and right now, I figure he's just about as safe.

"Where ya been Zell?" His mouth opened and closed nervously, like a fish. His hair is dripping all over the place. "Did you just take a shower?"

"Yeah. What... What's Rinoa doing here?" He asked, too nervous to bounce.

"When Rinoa got in Selphie brought her here."

"Why?"

"Couldn't find Squall, why else?"

"Oh"

"Where were you?"

"Well... you... I brought you home and... it got... weird." He's bouncing back and forth now; he looks like he's going to have a heart attack.

"Calm down, baby, I'm not gonna bite." His eyes get wider, if that's even possible, and be seems even more nervous.

"I... uh went to the training center and ran into Squall."

"Oh... how was he?" I ask, inspecting his clothes and noticing the splatters of green and red blood, along with streaks of dirt. He's shrinking under my gaze. What the hell's his problem?

"He was... not so good. He didn't say anything. He just fell asleep on me." Fell asleep on you? What the hell does that mean? Why are you so nervous?

"Oh."

"Yeah... so... how about we get Rinoa Outta here."

"Yeah. Take her to Squall's okay?"

"Yeah." He walks around me, over to Rinoa on my left, and shakes her lightly.

"Daddy?" She mumbles softly. My stomach just lurched, again.

"No, Rinoa, it's me, Zell. How about I take you over to Squall's place?"

"Squally not here." She says sleepily, clutching the honey yellow blanket that I pulled over her while she was sleeping.

"Squall's back now. He was just getting some work done. He's back now." Zell says softly, running his hand over the tattoo and though his hair, spiking it up again.

"Really?" She says, perking up.

"Yeah." He says reaching his hand out to her.

"Kay. Take me to my Knight." She says sleepily, following him out the door. I lay Selphie down on the couch and cover her with blankets, and then I go to the bathroom to vomit. Fuck, next time I won't open the door.


	13. What now?

Zell's POV

When I left Rinoa at Squall's I felt bad, he had this moment, where he looked so trapped that he would scream. But when it passed he wrapped his arms around her shaky little frame and I closed the door behind me. This is getting too stressful. First Mr. Feely pants, then Squall in meltdown mode, then Rinoa crying and whining, I think I Squall should have just left me asleep for the T-Rexars and Grats to eat me alive. At least I wouldn't have to worry about where I stand with everybody.

"Now what?" I say aloud. What's the opposite of adrenaline? Whatever it is, it seems to have a permanent hold on me. I totally freaked out when I saw Irvine, he's going to want to know why... and why I ran away in the first place. Hyne, he looked so warm when he called me Baby. I'm getting shivers. I can't go back to the dorm. Maybe I can hide out in the library, that girl really seems to like me.


	14. Redesign

Irvine's POV

I can't believe I got roped into this. Rinoa's only been back for a day and we're already moving her in. Selphie asked me to help and flashed me those big round doe eyes, how could I refuse? Squall is busy going over the will with some lawyers from Deiling City and Rinoa decided she should help, so Seffie and I are stuck doing the grunt work. Nice to know you're important.

"Here Irvy, will you take these?" Selphie bounces handing be a box filled with teddy bears sky blue sheets and the fabric for putting a canapé over a bed. If I had to live with this stuff I think I'd have a headache, Seffie has a teddy bear and that's no biggie but 5? And stuffed unicorns and angels, I have to say Rinoa is the least threatening sorceress I've ever met, even less threatening than Sis, and Sis never fought any of us.

"'coarse sunshine. Can I have the code for Squall's room?"

"Oh! Right!" Seffie says, bouncing across Rinoa's living room and tripping over Angelo, the dog lets out a howl. "Sorry Angelo!" she says dusting herself off and petting him on the head before rushing off into the bedroom. "Hold on Irvy, it's in here somewhere."

There's a knock at the door and I almost drop the box on another box filled with rainbow colored blown glass figures. Noa would've killed me if any of them had broken. I set the box on the floor and answer the door.

"Zell!" He flinches when he sees me; I guess he was expecting Selphie. "Come on in, Selphie's in the bedroom looking for the code card for Squall's room.

"Oh... okay." He says plainly, sidestepping around me and standing on the opposite side of the room pacing back and forth.

"Where you been Zell? Haven't been by the dorm all day." He stares at the flower printed carpet and cracks his knuckles. "You're still wearing the same clothes all covered in monster blood."

"I've been around."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean? Are you mad that I drank to much or something? Because I can pay you back if it's that big a deal." He looks up and me nervously, then back down at the floor.

"Naw, it's no biggie, the bartender let you have most of it free anyways."

"Well nobody can resist my charm." I say with a grin, but he doesn't tease me about it like he usually does, he just clears his throat and keeps pacing. "So you want to go get dinner or something when the moving is done?"

"No, I'm good." He says stiffly. I don't know why he's being so closed, it's like having another Squall, accept, this kind of hurts. Zell can't hide anything from anyone, so why is he trying so hard? "I have plans with Yaya." Oh librarian girl, well it's good that Zell finally asked her out, the whole garden has known how much she liked him as long as I've been here.

"Oh, well... that's nice..." is it just me or is this really, really awkward? "Have you seen our dear Commander today?" He stiffens at the mention of Squall, maybe this has to do with 'Squall falling a sleep' on Zell, he still hasn't explained that. Maybe something happened. Lucky bastard, a girl who's crazy about him and the hottest piece of ass on this continent, looks like Hyne really loves him. Damn but why is Zell being suck a prick.

"No... I haven't seen Squall."

"Well I'm sure he'll turn up later." I say narrowing my eyes at him. I don't know what Zell's problem is but it's really starting to piss me off. If it was anyone else I'd let it go, but we've been roomies for 2 years, and he can't even tell me what's going on with him after he took me out to spill my guts, I don't do that with just anyone I'll have you know. Only Zell and Squall when we were back in Galbadia.

"What?" He says nervously turning to box with his shadow. Great now he's ignoring me.

"I don't know, you tell me." I say in a questioning tone.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean Kinneas?"

"I don't know chocobo, what the hells with the attitude?"

"Chocobo? Don't make fun of me cowboy, next thing you know you'll be sprawled out on the ground!" He shouts punching the air around me.

"I'd like to see you try." I say sauntering over to him and looking down at him with a smirk. He turns bright red with anger, balling his fists up at his sides.

"You're as bad as Seifer." He spits out glaring up at me. He tries to take a swipe and me, and I grab his arm holding it tight around the wrist, just about to knock him out.

"Found it!" Selphie shouts bouncing through the door and stopping, taking a long look at the too of us. "What's with you boys?" she says rushing over to us and pulling my hand loose of Zell's arm.

"I don't need this shit." Zell grumbles, turning towards the door.

"Oh no Zelly. I don't care what you and Irvy are fussing about, you promised to help me and you're going to keep your word. A little lovers quarrel between you too isn't reason enough to break a promise." I could tell that she was trying to lighten the mood, but the way that Zell stiffened up more I could tell it was no use.

"Fine."

"Okay, Zell, you help me pack up the rest of Noa's things, Irvy is gonna start putting things up in Squally's room." She says handing me the key.

* * *

It didn't take long to get to Squall's dorm, and once I was in, I realized that in 2 years I had only been in squalls a handful of times. I took the opportunity to survey the landscape. It was plain, as you would expect. The dinning room table was covered with file folders and a laptop. I guess he doesn't have people over much, no surprise. I set the box on the table next to the laptop, and turned into Squall's kitchen. Me and Zell's kitchen is tiny compared to his, he have a microwave, a mini fridge and a coffee maker. Squall has a huge black fridge, almost from floor to ceiling, an oven, a microwave and a grey marble counter top with pots and pans neatly placed in an overhanging rack. The sink is empty, and sparkling like silver. I can just imagine Squall in a big white apron, stuffing rolls of beef and baking cakes, chopping vegetables, so deliciously domestic. I'd love to have Squall make me dinner. Ah, but I have work to do. I pick up the box and pass by the plain black leather couch set by a small flat-screened and obviously top of the line monitor. It must pay very well to be the Commander. No one could do a better job, so I suppose it's worth it. His bedroom surprised me. It was plain at first glance, a desk covered in paperwork, his jackets and pants hung neatly in the closet at the end of his bed, a big Griever poster on his wall, but the bed, it was beautiful, king-sized, and a soft soft yet firm mattress I could tell just by looking at it. It was draped with black silk sheets; I could barely keep myself from imagining Squall slipping his slim pail body into those silky smooth sheets. Hyne. I set down the box pulled out Rinoa's sheets and the canapé for the bed, and it seemed like a really big shame to have to fill Squalls simple elegant home with all of this gaudy rainbow colored junk. I started stripping the covers from the bed, a soft musky-oceanic smell that was obviously squall. This is a wonderful dorm, so neat ands so Squall all over, Rinoa and Angelo are going to ruin it. 

"Oh well." I say to myself. A promise is a promise, and I said that I would have everything up before Rinoa got back to the dorm, and I will. I strip off all of those beautifully smooth black sheets and replace them with powder blue covers with clouds all over them. I turn back to the desk and noticed a picture frame that I hadn't seen before. It was a picture of the entire group, all hugging one another after we defeated Ultimecia, we were all piss drunk and ecstatic I was amazed, I picked up the frame and two small photos slipped out from behind. I assumed they were pictures of Noa but I was wrong, one was a picture of Zell and I grinning into the camera. So there is something going on with Zell and Squally, damn. And the second caught me by surprise, it was Squall and Seifer, they must have been about 15 and they looked happy together. Now I know I missed a few years but I never heard about anything like that. I carefully slipped the pictures back behind the main photo in the frame and set it down on the table, returning to my work of butchering this beautiful room.

* * *

**A/N:** Oh man, I know Rinoa's stuff sounds really poofie, but I wanted to to be completely wrong for Squall's room   



	15. The Question

Selphie's POV

Zelly has had a big frown on his face all day and I'm getting pretty sick of it. I wonder what Irvy said to get him so upset.

"Zelly?"

"What?" He asked flatly.

"Why were you and Irvy fighting? I know you guys joke a lot but I haven't seen you guys fight like that since we picked him up in Galbadia. What's the matter? Was Irvy being an insensitive jerk?"

"...No, It's complicated."

"Oh... well whatever it is I know he didn't mean to upset you." His lips turn into a frown

"I know... He's just... Don't you ever worry about dating a guy who's all over any girl that moves? You deserve better than an arrogant jerk who—"

"You concerned about me? I love Irvy, and he's not really arrogant, at least not like Seifer." I said frowning at him.

"I know... but don't you want some one faithful and stable?"

"Like this Yaya you've been seeing?" I say narrowing my eyes at him, he blushes lightly.

"Well... maybe."

"Irvy is faithful, and dependable. He's there for you whenever you need someone to listen, and he always does his best to make everyone feel good. And he and I aren't exactly dating. He wanted to..."

"**He** wanted to?"

"Yeah, right after we defeated Ultimecia he asked me to go out with him all proper and everything, but I have to go back and froth between Tibia and Balamb so often, we decided it wasn't the right time yet, you know. And he's still a good boyfriend." I shrugged. He looked even more flustered that before.

"Well... can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"Has he ever you know... with a guy." I had to grin at that question; it was the best thing Irvine ever told me about. His adventures back in Galbadia. My Irvy sure has had his share of fun.

"I think we should finish packing okay, Zelly?"

* * *

**A/N:** Her lack of response makes me happpy   



	16. Preperations

Quitis' POV

I sat quietly waiting for Seifer to look over the reports and give his input. The first SEED test had gone well, there was a 95 passing rate, Esthar's SEED successfully re-took Winhill.

"Wow. This is so boring." He said with a frown. "How can Squall do this all day everyday?" He looks up at me almost shyly, his emerald green eyes pleading. "This job wasn't really a punishment was it?"

"For the last time Seifer it is not a punishment. You're doing perfectly fine. I know that it's hard to adjust to so much responsibility, but that's why I'm here."

"Okay... fine." He grumbles suspiciously. "Why are you so worried that Squall is trying to hurt you?"

"I... it's nothing."

"Suit yourself. How have you been getting along with Laguna?"

"Oh, alright I guess. He looks way too mush like Squall though, it's almost enough to give me a stiffy."

"Seifer!" I shout, snapping my whip at him. "Don't joke about things like that."

"Whose joking instructor? Are you embarrassed because you're just aching to get both the Commander and the President in bed?" He says with a wicked smirk. I whip him again. "Ow... knock it off!" He shouts banging his fist on the table.

"I will when you behave Seifer."

"I'm sorry Quitsy, can I make it up to you?" he asks licking his lips.

"Now that is quite enough." I say firmly, shifting my glasses irritated. "Will you read the next report already? It never takes Squall this long to get through the reports." He glares at me and returns to reading his reports.

"Wait, what is this about the arrival of Garden?"

"Well, since I am not in Balamb to fill in for Squall, he cannot just drop everything and travel to Tibia or Esthar alone, so Cid and I decided that it would be a good chance for everyone to get acquainted with your Garden.

"So Balamb is coming here?"

"Tibia as well."

"Shit, I have to throw a party or something, don't I?"

"Yes, in fact, Laguna, Ellone and Kiros are planning the event as we speak. And I trust that you have your uniform?"

"Yeah."

"Good, you might want to hurry with your reports, and take special care with them you might want to make a good first impression on your fellow commanders, and Squall will expect a lot from you."

"Hell, when do they get here?"

"You have approximately three days; Balamb has a round of Seed tests at Dollet."

"What does the training center look like?"

"It's larger than Balamb's training center and as per Squall's request there are three sections with increasingly difficult fiends."

"Oh, a challenge eh?"


	17. The warmth of a Cowboy

**A/N: **Warning, in the next chapter someone may turn into a "big brute of a man"

* * *

Squall's Pov 

Hyne. All day with those damn lawyers, and I know that when I get home my entire place will be ruined.

"Squally, are you read y to go home?" Rinoa says with a bright smile. The more she smiles the more it makes my stomach hurt. It's like every moment that were together my insides are being eaten out with guilt. "Squally!"

"No... I have some more work to get done." I say softly, and it's true I have tons of work to do, I wasted half the day dealing with Caraway's finances, and even dead he's making my life hell. "I'll try and get home as soon as I can." Okay that's a lie.

"OOOOOO fine, but don't take too long! Tonight's gonna be special" Oh no. Whenever she says special like that I end up getting a little dizzy.

"Okay. If I have to stay very late I'll call you."

"Yay, I looooove you Squally!" She says, leaning over and kissing me, almost trying to stick her tongue down my throat. The phone rang just in time.

"I have to take this"

"Okaaaay bye Squally." She prances out and closes the door behind her. I pick up the phone.

"Squall speaking."

"Good afternoon commander. What is your ETA for completing the mission in Dollet, sir?"

"32 hours. Your orders are to continue to Esthar weather we are finished or not."

"Yes sir. Will you be attending the ball held in Esthar?"

* * *

"Hyne. I... yes of course. Is there anything else?"

"No sir."

"I expect a full report upon arrival."

"Yes sir, good bye"

"Squally! Why aren't you home yet?" Rinoa shouts over the phone. "You have to come home and see this, Irvine did a wonderful job of putting my things up and Selphie offered to take us to dinner, you're holding everything up!"

"I'm sorry Rin, I have a lot left to finish up, why don't you go on without me and I'll catch up alright."

"Fine but you better hurry." I set down the phone and sigh. I don't really have anything left to do today, but I just can't deal with this now. This week has been too much. I sit back in my chair and stare at the ceiling. I wonder if Esthar looks like Balamb, Laguna said that he and Kiros drew up the plans special but I wonder. And a Ball... I hate these political events, I'll have to buy Rinoa a new dress and more jewelry then we'll have to dance and talk... and Seifer's gonna be there. I wonder if he'll talk to me outside of the office. I mean it's not like there's anything to say. Hyne I don't want to go to this, why did I let Xu, Quitis and Cid talk me into this. Because they've all been doing this job longer. I wonder how mad Rinoa will be if I don't show up.

"Hey, Commander," A smooth deep voice says from behind the door with a light knock.

"Come in."

Irvine pushes his way through the door, closing it quietly behind him. He slips his hat off and sets it on my desk then throws himself down in the chair across from mine.

"Working late commander?"

"Yeah, I have some—"

"Save it, I came to get you. Seffie's treating us all to dinner so hurry up and get your coat, I know you don't have any work left to do."

"Mind your own business Kinneas."

"This is my business. I said that I would get you there and I will."

"I don't want to go." I said firmly, glaring at him. He stares right back at me, Deep Violet eyes dark and resolved, and something else.

"Why are you waiting for someone?" He asks smoothly, his voice unusually cold. What happened to all that warmth and 'I'll be there' maybe I need somebody now. Why aren't you here?

"No."

"Really? Because I know some boys that would love to get you alone in here." He says standing up, his boots clunking on the floor as he saunters over to my desk and slides right in front of me leaning back on my desk and looking down at me.

"W-what are you talking about Kinneas?" I say with a frown. I'm doing my best to give him a death glare but he seems to be immune. He plays with a paper weight on my desk, intentionally ignoring me.

"You tell me Commander, you tell me." I don't like it when he calls me commander, I like Darling better. Please just call me darling Irvine. His eyes turn to me and he smirks, but not a sweet smirk, it's something else. "Well, what is it Commander? What's your great reason for ignoring your friends lately, and ducking out on your girlfriend?"

I stare at the paper weight next to him; I don't want to look at him. I want him to leave. I don't want to deal with this.

"Get out Kinneas." I say, staring him straight in the eye.

"Not until you answer my question. What's keeping you here? Is it Zell? Are you just hanging back waiting for him?"

"Zell? What are you talking about? Why would I be waiting for Zell?"

"Just spill already." Why is he being like this?

"I-I don't want to go home with her."

"What?" The coldness seemed to just melt out of him; he leaned closer and brushed the hair out of my eyes.

"Rinoa... ever since... I just can't. I can't handle being with her all the time. After what I did I can't stand being with her. It hurts."

"But you didn't—"

"You may have shot Carraway, but I made the order. His blood is on my hands. And even if she never finds out... I don't think it'll be okay. I just don't know what to do."

"Awe, Darlin' just relax." He says softly, squeezing my shoulder lightly. He called me Darlin'. I can feel the hot salty tears trickle down my cheeks, but I don't know why. "Squally" He moans out softly brushing one of his big strong hands against my cheek.

"I had to spend all day going over every aspect of his life, going over his finances and Rinoa's inheritance, with her telling me how great a boy friend I am and she can't wait to get me home. But I don't want to go home. I don't want to do it. I don't want her to climb on top of me and—" I can feel my cheeks getting hot; I think I said too much. He just looks down at me with those violet eyes. They're so warm I feel like I could wrap myself up in them.

"Is that why you and Zell—"

"What about Zell?"

"You two spent most of the night together."

"I fell asleep in the training center, he kept asking me to talk, but I didn't want to, so he just stayed." He blinks away his confusion

"Oh! When I found the picture"

"What picture?" He winces at my question. Was he looking through my stuff?

"When I was changing the sheets and putting up the bed stuff I noticed the picture on your desk, and some photo's fell out the back." He says as nonchalantly as he can.

"You saw them?" I say softly, my face is burning up. I can't believe that he saw them. "But—what does that have to do with—"

"Nothing Baby, I'm sorry. I don't know what I was thinking." He drawls with a big honey sweet grin. "Just relax Darlin' don't worry about a thing right now." He says softly, edging around behind me and placing those big hands on my shoulders.

"What are you doing?"

"Shh. Baby just let me do my thing." He whispers into my ear, sending chills down my spine as he starts rubbing my shoulders, making all of the muscles in my back twist and tingle. My back isn't the only thing that's tingling.

"You really got rid of my sheet?" I sigh out leaning back into his strong but still gentle massaging.

"Yeah, sorry Darlin, they were nice. So smooth and you, they even smelled like you." I can just imagine Irvine curled up in my sheets, and now more than ever I wish that all of my things had been left alone. My sheets, my empty desk, my pictures. "I'm sorry." He says again.

"No need to apologize. Just don't call me commander."

"Why?"

"Like Darlin better."

"Really?" I can hear the smile in his voice and it makes me relax, the honey sweet of him laced with a hint of gunpowder filling my nose. Mmm I could get used to this. "Darlin" He hums out softly, sending a shiver down my spine as he slips my jacket off and continues massaging me.

"What about dinner?"

"How about I just keep you company here for awhile Darlin." He says so warmly, I just want to wrap myself up in him. His eyes, his voice, those strong tender hands. I wonder if his whole body is like that, tan and gorgeous, strong and gentle.

"Oh yeah" I groan out. Making him chuckle.

"You don't relax enough baby. You should come to me when you feel this stress; I can fix you right up."

"Really?" I say softly, I feel like I'm drifting off. He releases my shoulders and wraps his arms around my shoulders, his cheek brushing up against mine.

"Anything for you baby."

"Irvine no, let go." I say trying to stiffen up, I feel like I'm loosing myself in his arms. I don't know how to handle that. He lets go and swivels my chair around. He looks down at me with a confident smirk, licking his lips coyly. He reaches his and out to me and I take it, I don't know why... I just had to. He pulls me up and wraps his big strong arms around me, and I'm loosing myself again.

"Irvine"

"Shh baby, don't be scared, I won't hurt you. I would never hurt you." He says running his hands up and down my sides. He's so warm, and I can smell him around me, it's just like I imagined it would be. I can hear his heart beating, it's so quick, he's excited too. He runs a hand through my hair and down to my chin, tilting my head up. He looks down at me and smiles, eyes smoldering with warmth. He runs his thumb over my lip slowly then leans in, his lips brushing against mine gently. He pulls back and I lean forward to meet his lips again. He chuckles and kisses me again warm lips pressing against mine, making them tingle. He holds me so close and licks playfully at my bottom lip, slipping his tongue into my mouth and making me moan. And then a knock on the door ruins everything. I pull out of his arms, and put my coat back on.

"Commander?" Some cadet says from behind the door.

"Yes?" She comes in and eye Kinneas, still hovering stunned behind me. "What can I do for you?"

"There was a call from Ms. Tilmit"

"Oh, thank you."

"Squall"

"That's commander." I snap quickly, not wanting to be too familiar in front of a cadet. He frowns and nods.

"Fine, commander. I'll see you later." He says without a glance completely passing the cadet buy.

"Err... if there's nothing else you're dismissed." She salutes me and hurries out of the room. Hyne what did I just do?

* * *

**A/N:** W00t isn't Irvy just a sack of sugar? but Squally had to mess it all up. 


	18. Suspicion

Rinoa's POV

"Irvy should have Squall back here in no time." Selphie says with a smile. Why hasn't he gotten here already? We're supposed to be celebrating our new life together. How can we celebrate being together if he's not here? "Noa," She says trying to get my attention. "Have you and Squall been having problems?" How dare she ask me something like that!

"Of coarse not, he's my knight and he loves me. He always treats me like a queen, what kind of problems could we have?"

"Well I don't know, we just haven't seen much of Squall lately."

"He has lots of work to do."

"I know that, but it seems like Squally's been having a hard time lately, have you tried talking to him?" Why is she being so nosy all of a sudden?

"No… but you know… he has been busy a lot lately."

"Well it seems like he's been burying himself in his work a lot lately, maybe there's something on his mind."

"Maybe," Now why hasn't my Squally bear been telling me what's bothering him? I close my eyes.

_Squally what are you thinking. What's bothering my handsome knight? _His mind was unusually calm, and opened, disorganized, his thoughts a wash of violet and midnight purple with little sparks of magic. I've never seen his thoughts like this. _Squally_

_So warm Call me Darling please call me darling. _His voice sings warmly, what is that supposed to mean? I feel a flood of relaxed content, maybe even love flow over him. _Don't want to go, so warm. I'm loosing myself again._

_"Shh baby, don't be scared, I won't hurt you. I would never hurt you." _A hot smooth voice whispers into his ear. I feel a shudder run down my spine. Who the hell is that? Who the hell is trying to take my night away from me?? _Who's there?_ Squalls mind shouts angrily, sending me spiraling out of his consciousness.

"Noa, are you okay?" Damn, if she'd stop talking I would be able to concentrate long enough to get back in. "I'm gonna go call Irvy on his cell phone and see when they'll be here."

"Maybe I should get a cell phone for Squall." So I can keep a better eye on him. There's no way I'm letting anybody take my night away.

* * *

A/N: sorry if this is confusing, the way i wrote it Squall's thoughts were smaller, it doesnt upload different sizes, so I hope it makes sense. 


	19. Carelessness

Selphie's POV

"What do you mean you're not coming?" I can't believe this, after all this waiting Irvine says he doesn't even want to go out to dinner.

"I'm sorry sunshine, but I'm not feeling too well, I think I might still be reeling from all that whiskey. And besides I have had a bit of a Rinoa overload. Why don't you just take care of her tonight?"

"What about Squally?"

"Well… I … He said he had a lot of work to catch up on." I can tell he's trying to make an excuse, but I am not in the mood for this. First he's fighting with Zell, and I have to deal with Mr. moody pants, then Rinoa's complaining and ordering me around, and now neither of them are going to show up?

"Irvine Kinneas! I am trying to so a nice thing for my friends, I don't care if you're having a hard time with him! One of you better be here and fast, or I swear-"

"Selphie, Squall's here." Rinoa says, waving from the table."You got lucky mister," I say, hanging up the phone. This taking care of everybody business is hard. I can't wait till Quitsy comes back, she's way better at all of this than I am. When I get to the table I can tell that there's a weird vibe. Squall looks really tired, and Rinoa is barraging him with her day and what she wants as usual but, there's something else and I can't really put my finger on it. I wonder if he still feels guilty too. I shouldn't have yelled at Irvy.


	20. Preperations

Seifer's POV

"They've been decorating all day, why can't I go and see it?" I shout at Quitis. She tries to hold back a smile.

"Seifer, be patient. Ellone says you can't see until the ball."

"Fuck that!" I say pushing past her. If everyone is trying to make a fool out of me in front of Squall…

"Yo, Seif…" Rajin shouts after me. I don't have time for him.

"COMMANDER!" Fujin shouts. I run past them, weaving through the students heading to class and stop dead in front of the tremendous Ballroom doors. They look just like Balamb's. Ellone slips out of the Ballroom and closes the door abruptly.

"Seifer… What are you doing here?"

"I want to see what exactly you're putting up in there."

"You can't, not until we're done. We still have a day or two more of preparations."

"Why can't I see it? This is my Garden isn't it?"

"Yes, but—"

"This'll be my first impression to everyone as Commander of Esthar Garden I don't want anything to make me look… bad…"

"Are you worried about what Squall will think?" She asks with a smile.

"What? Of course not!" I say, I can feel my face turning red. "I just have to see." I say pushing past her.

"Seifer, No! You're not supposed to see yet!" Ellone shouts and I open the door, dragging her with me. The ballroom is huge. The hardwood floors shine, reflecting the sunlight through the moon-roof windows. There are plants everywhere, Ivy wrapped around the balcony and creeping along the silver lined windows. A couple hundred tables surround the dance floor; all covered with sheer white table clothes and tall crystal candle holders. Ward and Kiros are helping Laguna put up a stage for the orchestra, which Kiros no doubt 'picked out special'. I can't believe this. The doorways are all draped with silk sea-foam green curtains that sparkle as the flow in the wind. The entire place is gorgeous. It looks like I'm trying to impress someone. Hyne he'll think I'm trying to impress him. They did this on purpose.

"You!" I shout at Laguna. He turns and looks at me.

"What?"

"You did this!"

"What?"

"This!" I shout waving my arms out at the entire room.

"We all did it, isn't it beautiful?" He says with a dumb proud smile. Hyne they don't even know what they're doing to me.

"IMPRESSIVE!" Fujin shouts, I guess she and Raj followed me in.

"This is really gorgeous, ya know? I bet Squall will love it."

"Shut up!" I shout pinching the nerves at the bridge of my nose.

"You seem to have a lot of stalk in what Squall thinks if you know what I mean." Kiros says with an arrogant grin. Damn, I never thought I'd meet someone who could bully me. Kiros may not be very big, but he knows how to go straight for the heart.

"I don't care what he thinks." Hyne he'll think I'm an idiot.

"Don't worry Seifer, it'll be and wonderful ball, you don't have anything to worry about." Ellone says with a smile. A whip cracks in the door way making Laguna jump.

"Seifer Almasy, you have reports to finish." Quits says, putting her hands on her hips and waiting for me to obediently follow her out.

"I can finish them later Instructor." She cracks her whip again. "Fine, fine, I'll finish the damn reports."

* * *

A/N: This part was kind of hard to write, because I didn't have much to go on in terms of conversations between Ellone, Seifer, Laguna, Kiros, Fujin and Rajin. But any feedback would be greatly appreceated, and I'll work at making it better. Oh and some one asked awhile ago if it was Squall/Seifer or Squall/Irvine and i just wanted to say I still haven't really decided.  



	21. Gun Shy

Zell's POV

We should be in Esthar by tomorrow morning, and then we all have to attend a ball. Yaya really wants to go, which is cool, but I wonder what Seifer will say. What he says doesn't matter, but is he says anything I'm gonna sock him. When I got back from my date last night Irvine was there. I thought he would be out with Selphie and Rinoa. He's been grumpy ever since.

"Hey man what's up?" I ask, forcing a smile. I don't want to fight him anymore, I mean what the hell was I worried about anyways right? He's my best friend.

"Since when are you talking to me? I thought I was worse than Seifer." He says with a grumble. Man this could be tough.

"Well… I… sorry man, I just had some stuff I was freakn' out about you know?" I say reaching my hand out to help him off the couch.

"Whatever."He says turning towards the television, his butt squeaking against the leather couch. He's beginning to sound like Squall. I don't think I could take it if both of my best friends were silent about everything. I miss the teasing, even if it is confusing.

"Come one Cowboy what's the matter?"

"It's nothing okay?"

"Did you have a fight with Selphie?"

"Maybe, it doesn't really matter. We're not really together anyways."

"But you love her, and she loves you… I mean I thought you guys were doing great."

"I don't know. She's made me spend so much time with Rinoa. She knows how I feel around her… because of what I did. But she's not really worried with my feelings right now. Now I can understand that, Noa just lost her father and all but I just kept thinkn', if Seffie was in pain I would never force her to do anything that'd make it any worse. She said that she didn't have time to be steady and it's 'bout time I accept it." He says with a deep sigh.

"But… Irvine… I know how much you love Selphie…"

"Yeah, well I love her enough to let her go. Besides I've had my eye on somebody lately. I don't think they're interested really, but I don't know."

"Aw come on, no one can resist a cowboy right?" He grins a little at that, but then his face is set with thoughtfulness.

"Seffie." He says plainly.

"But… she loves you, a lot, I know."

"I don't really want to talk about it anymore. And besides, don't you have some date to run off to or something?" I deserve that.

"Nah, not tonight. We could just hang out; watch a western or something…"

"What's with all the sudden interest in my well being Zell?"

"Look, Irvine, I'm sorry that I've been so touchy lately. I was just confused about some stuff, but I think I'm over it. I just… I miss getting along; you're my best friend man. I need you."

"Worried about seeing Seifer again?"

"Does it show?"

"Yeah it does babe, just relax. He likes to get people riled up, just like I do. Now don't give him the satisfaction." He says with a half smile. He doesn't seem as cheery as usual but it's better than nothing.

"What have you been up to lately man?"

"Ah, you wouldn't be interested. What about you? When do I get to meat this, Yaya, of yours?" He says suggestively.

"Never if you plan on trying to seduce her."

"Nah, if she's into you then I don't think she'd my type."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means that you're a spaz that's what it means my little chocobo."

"At least I'm not a depraved cowboy sex-a-hall!"

"It's not as bad a gig as you think." He says with a chuckle, I bet it's not.

* * *

A/N: someone has a Seifer complex nodding  



	22. Things couldn't be Brighter

Squall's POV

"Come on Squally bear!" She says with a smile, pulling me out of the main hatch. "The ball is tonight! Lets go shopping; I want a pretty new dress." She says emphatically, Angelo barking at my heels. She drags me all the way through the gates to Esthar. Hyne, I haven't even had a chance to visit Laguna yet. As soon as we make it to the mall she runs off to the first store she sees. I have a feeling that I'm going to be buying a whole lot more than a dress and some shoes.

* * *

"Doesn't this look lovely?" The sales woman says with a bright smile. Rinoa's wearing a shimmering blue wyrm silk dress, its cut like a tulip I think. It has a round tear drop like front, widening as it covers her breasts, giving her loads of cleavage. There's a slim black silk band just under her breasts that tightens the dress around her waist perfectly and the dress buds tightly around her butt, petals of fabric reaching down to her knees. I have to admit, she does look gorgeous. Like a princess from a fairytale, so gentle and cultured.

"Well Squally?" She shouts her hands on her hips expectantly. This isn't a fairytale. I take a deep sigh.

"You look gorgeous." I say hading the sales woman my credit card.

"Wonderful choice Mr. Loire" The woman says with a plastic smile. "Oh, excuse me Mr. Leonheart" She says, obviously worried that she's offended me.

"Its fine, I know I do look a lot like my father." I say with a nod. Please just go and ring it up so that we can leave.

"How long will you and your wife be in Esthar?" I squeeze that spot at the bridge of my nose. I can't even argue, what the hell am I supposed to do.

"Hehehe did you hear her Squally, she thinks you're my husband. Aren't you exited? I can't wait till our wedding." She says brightly. "Oh I need to get some jewel and a purse and some shoes to go with my dress, is that okay?"

"Anything you want honey." I say with another sigh.

"Ooo this is so much fun, we can spend the whole day together!" She squeals running back into the dressing room.


	23. A cup of tea between friends

Irvine's POV

It was about six o'clock when I heard the knock at the door. Zell went to spend some time with Yaya before the ball, and I was still deciding weather or not I even wanted to go. On the one hand, I should, I am a rank A SeeD and a friend of all three commanders so I should go. And I still haven't really gotten re-acquainted with Seifer. On the other hand I'll have to see both Seffie and Squall at once, and there's only so much rejection a man can take at a time. Maybe if I go I'll meet some sweet young thing from Esthar that'll want to come home with me. I need to get back on my game. The knocking is getting louder, so I decide that I might as well go answer it.

"Hello?" I say tiredly, opening the door. I gasp when I realize who it is. I slip into a salute. "Commander, what can I do for you?" I ask politely. Squall looks back at me, a glint of ocean blue passing through his grey eyes. He looks lost, but only for a moment, and then he stiffens and salutes me perfectly.

"Irvine," he starts to say plaintively.

"Sir?" He frowns.

"Kinneas, can I come in?" He asks, I could have sworn I heard a wave of nervousness in his voice.

"Yeah, sure, anything you want sir." I say moving out of the door way so that he can enter. "Hold on." I say running back and forth, picking up clothes and straightening up magazines, taking cups and plates out of the living room. I don't want him to think I'm a slob. He stands by the door patiently, waiting for me to finish. He's so stiff and professional. I wave towards the couch and he sits down, hands set formally on his lap. "So is there something you wanted to talk to me about commander?" I ask, sitting on the table across from him. He frowns and stares at the back of his folded hands.

"I thought I told you about that." He says softly.

"Pardon?"

"Nothing" He says with a sigh. I stop myself from reaching over to pat his shoulder, or asking him what's the matter. If Squall wants to be professional then I won't make any waves.

I clear my throat nervously, he's being so quiet. What does he want me to say? Does he want me to ask or just sit and listen? Does he really want me to be stiff and professional with him? I seemed that way last time we spoke.

"Irvine." He says softly. "Please…" He says with a light blush, I think he's straining.

"Please what, Commander?" Okay, now I think I'm being a dick.

"Damn It Irvine quit calling me commander!" He says pounding his hand on his leg, still staring at his hands nervously. "I just… I wanted to talk to you," His soft doll like face turning beet red. Hyne, he's so damned cute. I try and wipe the smirk off my face, I know it's there.

"It didn't seem like you had anything left to say to me." I say softly, I know that I'm being difficult, but I don't want to just be somebody's fall back guy again.

"Well, I uh... sorry maybe I shouldn't have come." He says, standing without looking at me. Hyne he's so shy, it's like now that I've seen him vulnerable he can't keep it together. But I don't want it like this. He heads for the door. Hyne, but it's Squall.

"Wait, wait, I'm sorry." I say chasing after him. "I don't mean to be cold Darlin, I just, it doesn't matter." I say grabbing his arm gently. He turns and looks at me with those beautiful stormy blue eyes. He opens his mouth like a fish and closes it again. "Come on babe have a seat." I say, leading him to the couch again. "Can I get you anything?"

"Umm, tea, if you have any." I run to the kitchen and heat up some water. "Do you want cream, sugar?"

"Okay." He says uncertainly. I mix up his tea quickly and come back into the living room, handing the warm cup of tea to him. He purses his soft pink lips together and blows on it lightly. Oh man. I just want to jump him right now, Hyne, I've got something he can blow on.

"Now, what's on your mind Darlin?" He looks up from his tea shyly and gives me a private little smile. He really does like it when I call him that. He takes a sip of tea and thinks a moment before responding.

"Spent all day shopping with Rinoa," He says with a frown.

"Oh?" He sets the cup down and fiddles with that spot on his nose again. He always does that when he's nervous or irritated.

"She wanted to spend all day together before the ball. Thought it would be romantic. One of the sales ladies mistook her for my wife, and she kept asking about how excited I am about getting married and we should set a date soon."

"I see." I say frowning. I don't want them to get married. They just seem wrong for one another. I'm just jealous.

"I just wanted to see you." He says rubbing his fingers nervously. It suddenly occurs to me that he's not wearing his gloves. I've never seen him without gloves before. Suddenly I have the strongest urge to touch his hands.

"Really?" I say with a grin, "Now why on earth would you want to see me?" I say playfully, sitting down next to him. He turns to face me, his lower lip trembling lightly.

"I uh… well… you said that I could… that you would be here for me if I needed—" I scoot over so that I'm sitting right next to him and rest my hand on his leg, caressing the smooth leather and brushing up against his soft naked hands.

"It's okay, if it's hard for you, you don't have to."

"I couldn't stop thinking about it… When we were in my office. It wasn't like with Rinoa, it was I was…" He takes in a shaky breath. I run my fingers across the back of his hand gently and he takes another sharp breath. "You're so warm."

"Squall," I say, threading my fingers with his and turning it over, brushing my fingers over his palm. I can feel a shiver run through him. I was right, his hands are super sensitive. I lift it up and brush his hand against my cheek, kissing it lightly. "Squally, I really like you… and I…" I can't believe that I don't know what to say. "DO you want me?" I ask, taking his index finger into my mouth and sucking on it playfully.

"Oh~ Yes," He moans lifting his hips slowly, and shifting in his seat. I release his finger and kiss his hand again playfully. Then cup his cheek and kiss him. He's so soft and smooth and kissable. I shower him with hot kisses, our tongues entangling as I wrap my arms around him, holding him tight to me. I don't want him to run away.

* * *

**A/N: I know it's been a really long time since I uploaded but I honestly forgot that I liked this story. I hope somebody else out there likes it too. Comments, always appreciated.**


	24. Inpatients

Seifer's POV

Seifer was so nervous he could feel his body humming. He hadn't seen Squall in so long; all he could remember were all of the angry battles between them when he was under the spell of Ultimecia, that and the curve of his lips in the rare moments that he smiled. Seifer remembered the way that he had longed for Squall when they were young, and how close he had come to the object of his desires. If only he hadn't let his mind become so weak, if only he hadn't let the sorceress control him.

"Seifer…"Quistis said, startling him as she put her hand on his shoulder. _Crap…_he thought, hoping that she hadn't been listening in. "…Squall is late?" she asked checking her watch to make sure.

"I hadn't noticed…" he lied trying not to fidget too much behind his desk. The ball would be in a few short hours and yesterday Squall had said that he wanted to meet ahead of time and update Seifer in person. Seifer tapped his fingers on his desk nervously as he rapidly lost his temper. He picked up the phone and dialed what he knew was Squalls cell phone number; Quistis had insisted that they all stay in close contact. "tch," Seifer grumbled as it switch over to voice mail. Seifer paused for a moment, listening to Squall's awkward message and then slammed the phone down on the receiver. "Forget this." He grumbled throwing on his coat and picking up his gun blade from its case in the corner of the room. "If princess ever decides to show let him know I'm working out the kinks in that new training area they had built."

"Seifer—" Quistis started, but he slammed the door before she had the chance to say anymore. She looked at her watch for a long moment and then picked up the phone.


	25. Breaking down fences and building walls

Squall's POV

He melted into those soft lips and strong arms, his stomach tightening and his legs weakening as the smell of honey and musk overwhelmed him. His mind was spinning as Irvine's strong callused hand caressed his cheek and steadied him, pulling him back into the moment, back into those violet eyes. Squall could feel his heart unraveling, feeling more and more vulnerable as it thundered in his chest. Irvine pulled his body in closer. Squall's stiffness rubbed against Irvine's rock solid thigh, making Squall moan as Irvine smiled into their kiss.

"Oh, babe~" Irvine husked, caressing his cheek and running his fingers though Squall's feathery brown hair. Squall's head was spinning, as Irvine's tongue caressed his roughly while the kisses still stayed sweet and tender somehow. He felt a strong hand wandering down his back and grabbing his butt possessively as the other cupped his cheek.

Squall jumped back as he felt his pocked vibrate, almost biting Irvine's tongue.

"Hey, focus." Irvine husked nibbling on his pouty lower lip seductively, as he pulled him close again.

"Call," Squall whimpered, feeling that hand wander back to his butt to grasp him in the most suggestive ways. He felt Irvine's thickness rub against his stomach and was a little bit surprised at how much it excited him, his heart swelling as he let himself be handled so tenderly, the feeling of weakness making him recoil. "Seifer…"

"What?" Irvine said leaning back out of the kiss immediately, but still holding Squall close at the hips. Although lust was heavy in those violet eyes Squall could see a heavy question, maybe an expectation.

"I was supposed to meet him with Quistis before the ball… It's probably him," Squall said softly.

"Make him wait," Irvine said simply, leaning back and kissing Squall again albeit with a little bit less tenderness in his touch.

"But…" Squall pulled back again. "I don't want him to feel like I have something against him…" Squall said softly. Irvine pulled back with a frown, this time releasing his waist completely.

"Is it really that important for you to go see him?" Irvine said carefully with little of his usual honey sweet charm.

"yeah… I mean… I don't want us to start off badly. I am going to have to depend on him…"Irvine's frown deepened.

"Then go," Irvine said stiffly.

"But…" Squall looked back at him shyly, all the swollenness in his chest constricting under his leveled stare. Squall looked for his jacket awkwardly, he had lost it somewhere along the way, they had made it halfway to Irvine's bedroom and he couldn't help but blush. "I…" Squall paused, he didn't know what to say. Looking in Irvine's eyes was becoming increasingly difficult, they made him feel so weak that he had avoided them and missed the moment that they closed off to him.

"So you're just leaving…?" Irvine said, the stiffness in his voice making Squall meet his eyes.

"Yeah… I mean… I have a meeting…" he tried to explain. Everything had hit him like a whirlwind and he hadn't even considered what he was doing or his agenda for the rest of the day. He had been thinking that a short visit with Irvine would take away some of the awfulness that had been the day, which it had, but things had completely gotten away from him. "Sorry…" He reached out to tough Irvine's chest but realized how much the distance between them had increased.

"Why did you even come here if you had such an important meeting?" Irvine wouldn't meet his eyes any longer.

"I didn't think it would take so long…" Squall frowned at his own words. This was why he avoided so much conversation, he never knew how to express what he meant. "I mean… I was just overwhelmed by the day… I forgot…" Squall said licking his lips shyly, he could still taste Irvine on them.

"What did you want from me?" Irvine said softly, staring down at the ground. "Did you just come here so that I could make you feel better and then you could run off to Seifer?"

"What? I didn't… are you mad?" Squall asked, feeling his heart ache and realizing that he had allowed himself to be much too vulnerable. Suddenly Irvine didn't feel so safe. "I just… I thought it was okay…" he said his voice whimpering softly.


	26. It's the Whiskey talking

Irvine's POV

The moment he looked into Squall's eyes he realized his mistake. He had let his jealously and nervousness get the better of him, he was so worried about getting hurt again and about Seifer becoming someone that Squall would depend on again that he hadn't even thought of how pissy he was being. He had let the stress and all the whiskey of the past week cloud his judgment. He hadn't thought of how fragile Squall was even on a regular day and that the privilege of seeing him so wanton and so open was a rare and precious gift.

"Sorry~" Squall said with shimmering blue eyes, that made Irvine's heart twinge.

"Wait, babe…" Irvine said reaching out to him only to be shrugged off. "Darlin~" he soothed reaching to touch his cheek again.

"Don't…" Squall said with a frown, slapping his hand away. "I have a meeting," he said stiffly and rushed out of the room. Irvine let out a heavy sigh.

"I can't believe I blew it…" he said walking out to the common room and flopping down on the couch. He thought he had been strong, that he would be able to handle anything again, even do something as prosaic as ease Squall's pain, but he hadn't even been able to be himself. He picked up the half empty bottle of Whiskey that sat at the foot of the couch and poured himself a stiff drink. The days were getting so long that he could barely stand it.


	27. Fatherly concern

Laguna's POV

When Squall came over he looked so broken. It was the first time I really felt like he was my son. I knew that he came here for Elle that she was the one he needed to comfort him, but he didn't try to make me leave or put up a front. When he met me at the door with those tearful eyes he let me pull him in and hug him, I called Elle out of her room and he just let go and cried. I didn't stick around for all the details, honestly it hurt too much… Seifer had been expecting me earlier and I was already late before Squall had arrived but I wasn't ready to see my son heartbroken. My son…

I hadn't even noticed that I was still on the phone.

"Where are you?" Quistis said stiffly, I could hear the worry in her voice and let out a little sigh.

"I got held up at home, it's been a long time since I've had both of the kids here together. I know we were supposed to have a meeting but… can you apologize to Seifer for me?"

"Squall's there too? I've been trying to reach him on his cell phone, put him on." I shook my head even thought she couldn't see me.

"No, I don't think so. He's not… he needs a break Quitsy, he and Elle just needed some time to talk."

"…Is he okay?" She asked, a break in her professional tone was rare.

"I think so… but he just needs a little time."

"But we have all of these diplomats coming, and Xu will be here soon. We have to—"

"Look, I know. He'll be ready and presentable for the ball. But you can coordinate with Xu and Seifer perfectly on your own. Apologize on my behalf and on Squall's. We had a family emergency."

"Alright…" She said, a little bit disappointed.

"I'll send Kiros over so that he can assist you in any way you need. He's really great at this kind of stuff."

"I know… but is he really okay?" I peeked into Ellone's room; Squall was wrapped up in her favorite blanket and curled himself into a little ball on the floor, his head rested on her lap as she spoke softly to him. She looked up and me and gave a little smile.

"Yeah," I said, I was relieved too. "He'll be fine. They just needed a little time."

"Alright," I could hear her voice soften as well. "I would like to spend a little time with Ellone too…"

"You're always welcome, you should know that."

"Thank you." She said after a long pause. "I should go look for Seifer, he's already stormed off."

"Tell him I needed Squall for something… I don't know… make something up."

"Yes sir."

"Quistis,"

"Yes?"

"Save me a dance, okay?" I couldn't help but smile as I asked.

"I'll see you at the event, on time." She scolded.

"Yes ma'am."


	28. Mixed feelings and too much to drink

_A/N: Hi there, I've been on a Squall jag lately, so I was compelled to update. In the beginning I was planning on having one thing happen, but just like when ever I try to write about Tidus, Irvine has run away from me. Although this story is a little bit slow moving because of the structure of the narrative things will start to pick up (plot wise). comments are always appreciated._

_

* * *

  
_

Zell's POV

I thought that I would spend all day with Yaya, and then we would go to the SEED ball together, but I forgot to bring my uniform with me. I headed back to the dorms, dread in the pit of my stomach. Looking at Irvine was so hard lately, Squall too. All these weird feelings kept popping up and I just wanted things to go back to normal… I missed them.

When I opened the door I found Irvine sprawled out on the couch, a bottle in one hand and an empty glass in the other, he was dead drunk.

"Shit…"

"Happy to see you too, babe." He drawled looking back at me.

"You have to get dressed; the ball is in an hour…" I said putting my hands on my hips.

"Not going," he said trying to pour out another glass of whisky and spilling it all over himself and the couch.

"Whoa, I think you've had enough buddy." I said, bridging the distance between us for the first time in days, maybe a week. I pushed his legs off the end of the couch and sat by his side, taking the glass and the nearly empty bottle out of his hands. "Now what were you thinking? You know you have to go to events like this. Let's get you sobered up; I have the best hangover cure."

"No…" he moaned childishly. He pushed his hat further down on his head, covering his eyes. I snatched it off his head and tossed it into the other room. "Hey!"

"Come on…" he said looking up at me with glistening violet eyes. He had been crying. Christ, he was more of a mess than I had ever seen him.

"Hurts…" my breath caught in my chest as he licked his lips, I couldn't help but think that he was beautiful.

"What hurts?" I asked putting my hand on his shoulder gently.

"Everything. All this Rinoa crap everyone has been acting crazy… and Sephie… She doesn't love me…" he groaned trying to sniff back the tears welling in his eyes.

"Yes she does…" I said shaking my head.

"Not enough…"

"But you don't know that…"

"I would never put her in a position that would hurt so bad…" he mumbled. "She's brought Rinoa here almost every day so that I could make her feel better…"

"Seriously?" That was news to me.

"And where the hell have you been? I have no best friend and no girlfriend and I lost all my charm."

"Sorry, I've been preoccupied lately…" he looked me straight in the eye and I almost heard him whimper.

"Need you," he sniffled. "Can't do it alone."

"I know," I said with a little sigh. I shouldn't have abandoned him when I knew he was all torn up just because I felt…weird… "Irvy," I said catching his attention. "I'm here its okay."

"Not okay… I don't think I can do this… dressing up and dancing with Sephie, Dancing with Rinoa… being alone, none of it. Nobody loves me…" he let out a big sniffle and bit his lip. I couldn't help myself, I leaned in and kissed him gently, his lips were even softer than they looked. He tasted like whiskey, not surprising. When I leaned back he just stared at me, mouth gaping.

"You haven't lost all of your charm…" I said with a little smile. I hoped he was drunk enough that he wouldn't remember; I don't know why I did it.

"Zell…" he was on me before I even knew what was happening. His heavy body pressing me into the couch as his lips crushed against mine, his tongue pushing its way into my mouth. I tried to say stop but it just came out as a little moan against his lips. I could feel myself straining in my pants, his arms wrapped around me and our legs tangled together on the couch. I had expected to mind, being man handled by him always made me feel unsettled, but even with the taste of whiskey his kisses were so sweet and hot, I just melted into him. I felt strong hands slipping inside my shorts, struggling to get them loose.

"Hey…" I said pushing him off of me. I could feel my lips swollen from kissing him and I could hardly think of a reason to stop. "Hey…"

"Want you…" he said leaning in and crushing his lips against mine again urgently. I pushed him back again, pulling my legs out from under him before he could pin me.

"You're my best friend," I said gently.

"Yeah," he said, nodding his head as he put his hand square on my lap grabbing hold of my stiffness and stroking it through my shorts, making me shudder. "Mine too." I let out a little whimper and he smiled, hyne he was so hot.

"You're my best friend…" I repeated again, stopping his hand despite how much I wanted him to continue. "That's why we can't…"

"We can…" He said licking his lips. "I'll make you feel so good, you won't regret it." He drawled. I swallowed hard, he felt me twitch in his hand and gave me this long sexy smirk, but I had to shake my head.

"You're drunk… and we're best friends. I don't want to…" he squeezed me firmly in his hand. "Ah!"

"Beg to differ."

"Let's get you sober." I repeated. "We can't… so let's get you sober."

"But Zell…" he whimpered. It was one of the hottest things I've ever heard. I wondered how he could ever think he had lost his charm.

"I love being best friends with you…" I said brushing a long strand of honey brown hair out of his eyes. He released me but leaned into my hand, I was glad, but he left me aching for more.

"Yeah? Me too. I can always talk to you… always count on you."

"Yeah," I said leaning in and kissing him again.

"You're sending mixed signals," he whispered against my lips.

"Yeah…" I said kissing him ones more. "Last time…"

"Love me?" he asked between kisses.

"Like a brother…" I said pulling back. "But you know you're not going to be happy with this."

"I am…" I shook my head at him.

"Stop fooling around… find someone just for you. You'll like it better." He cupped my cheek and kissed me ever so sweetly.

"Zell… we could…" I shook my head again.

"Not me. I'm not gay."

"Liar," he tried to kiss me again but I leaned out of the way.

"I'm not…" he looked at me for a long moment. I felt so nervous and I can't really explain why. Then he nodded. "Besides you're drunk…"

"I like being best friends too," he nodded.

"Good," I said getting up. The urge to kiss him had mostly passed. I ran to my room and picked up my hangover cure. "Its detox and some ether," I said tossing it to him

"Tsk, wasting special supplies." He said shaking his head, but he drank it down. I could see the fog in his eyes clearing; he let out a heavy sigh.

"You back with us buddy?"

"Yeah," He said looking me over for a long moment. "Thanks. Sorry if I tried anything…" he said softly.

"We're cool, you better get dressed though, we'll be late."

"I don't want to go…"

"I know, but we have to."

"God Squall's going to be so pissed," he said putting his hand over his mouth shyly.

"Wait, what do you mean? Why I Squall going to be pissed?" He looked up at me with these dark guilty eyes and then went off to his room.

"I'll go get dressed," was the only answer I got.


	29. Prying Eyes

Rinoa's POV

I was already tired of waiting when Squall met me in the quad. It was bad enough that he had to run off to his meeting with Seifer right after we went shopping, but he wouldn't even take me with him. Things may have turned out badly in the end but I still miss Seifer. I would have two knights if I could… And I really wanted to show off my new dress, I knew that there would be time at the ball but I wanted to do it when the only pretty thing to look at was me.

"Sorry we're late," Ellone said holding onto Squall's arm. They almost looked like a couple, it's hard to think that they're brother and sister, but they are both gorgeous. I grabbed Squall's other arm, I don't like the way that she draws so much of his attention.

"It's okay, it was worth the wait."

"The meetings ran a bit long…" He said sheepishly and I nodded. I think that he and Seifer must have gotten into a fight because I've had this uneasy feeling from Squall for hours.

"How is Seifer doing? You know I could have been helpful with last minute decorations if you had taken me with you," I asked pulling his arm a little bit closer. I tried to reach into his mind and find what he was thinking but he pushed me out right away.

"Seifer is fine. He's been adjusting here really well, he and Dad seem to get along," Ellone said with a bright smile.

"Well, Isn't that nice…" I wonder what Squall is hiding form me…

"It really would have been nice to have you on the decoration committee, next time there's an event like this I'll give you a call."

"Okay," I said with a big smile.

"Well I'll let you two go, although you should save a dance for me okay," she said patting Squall on the head. "Remember what I said okay?" He nodded and my curiosity was peaked. Maybe I'll be able to steal a glance when he's sleeping…


	30. UnStately Behavior

Seifer's POV

Everything was going well, Martine even showed. Quistis stayed on my arm all though the talks and I was thankful to have her support. Martine tried to take every opportunity to show me up but I never missed a beat with Instructor Trepe on my arm. She squeezed my arm even as I thought it, I was thankful that she had decided not to whip me in front of a room this size. Xu and Squall were going over the particulars for getting Tibia fully operational and everyone was tiptoeing around the fact that we had multiple contracts out on his head through each of the gardens, he probably knew as much. He only came to his meeting as a bluff, to try and make us believe in his loyalty and to size up our assets I'm sure. He didn't seem happy, my garden was far superior to his own, which is still immobile I might add. When the music started Quistis was my obvious partner, she was good at a slow waltz. I couldn't help but glance over at Squall. He was dancing with Rinoa; it was so weird to think that some random chick that I had been with was dating him now. I feel like he's better than that.

"Have you spoken to him yet?" She whispered in my ear.

"You were there at the table."

"I mean alone Almasy, don't be cute."

"Aren't I always cute instructor?" She pinched me, but it was worth it. "When would I have had time to speak to him? He's the one who ditched the meeting he called, remember? Who knew that he'd be such a diva?" She pinched me again; I think she enjoys hurting me. Looking at Squall I could tell that he was sad, he wasn't all fire and ice like usual, I doubt that bimbo could even tell.

"Look at Zell and Yaya," Quistis said with a little giggle. "She had a crush on him for over a year and he didn't even notice, but they've finally gotten together. It's cute."

"Yeah," I agreed. I like making fun of the guy, but honestly I wanted to see him happy. "Have you had your eye on anyone my dear instructor?" I asked glancing over and President Squall's dad who stood patiently in the corner, rubbing his leg every once in awhile. He was handsome for an old guy, squall's blood after all.

"Don't even think that…" She said stiffly before she noticed him walking toward us. I saw the sniper stumble in the room late, Selphie had been sitting at the table patiently waiting for him. He looked disheveled. I never liked him as a kid, any time I tried to tease Zell or Squall he would get in the way. If they had liked me as much as they liked him I probably wouldn't have gone dark side though. The music stopped and I had to smirk at the blush across Quistis' alabaster cheeks.

"May I have this dance?" Laguna said shyly, I could tell he was straining to stand up straight.

"Okay…" She said with a small nod. Quistis didn't even look him in the face; she put one hand on his shoulder and the other in his and stared at his chest like a high-schooler at her first dance.

"Good luck," I said cutting my way across the dance floor. The way Squall was frowning was getting on my nerves; I had to know what was going on with him. I tapped on Rinoa's shoulder. "May I cut in?" I know I was smirking; the look on Squall's face was just too great.

"Seifer! It's so good to see you again, I'd love to dance," she said with a bright smile. I thought he would be more possessive but Squall almost seemed relieved at the idea. I could see why, even without the current circumstances.

"Actually, I was hoping to dance with our dear Commander-in-Chief over here," I know I was smirking, I just couldn't hold it in. He looked as good as ever, better even. The way that his lips pouted just made me want to fill them full of—

"Are you joking?" Squall said with a frown.

"What are you chicken? You're not secure enough to be seen dancing with another man?"

"I'm not chicken?" He glowered.

"Well then?" I asked putting out my hand. I could tell that he was irritated that I was trying to lead, but my Squall never turned down a challenge. I was glad I could still get him going like this. Rinoa looked a little miffed that we were ignoring her but some poor SEED shmoe asked her to dance before she could open her big mouth and ruin my song. Squall followed very well, he met every step gracefully and elegantly. I would have complimented him but it was just too weird. We hadn't even started again. I knew I had to say something, but where to start was hard.

"So why haven't I seen you?"

"We had the Garden meeting before Martine arrived with Xu, Quistis and Laguna. And the mock meeting afterwards… and we met with clients during dinner…" he trailed off.

"You know that's not what I mean. It's bad enough to take orders from you but when I show up and you don't…"

"Sorry," he said lowering his head. For a moment I thought, hoped, he would rest his head on my shoulder but he just hovered there shyly.

"Thank you… for giving me another chance…" I said.

"You earned it… you worked really hard in Tibia… I still think you should have come home though." He said staring off at some point past my shoulder. I looked at that scar, the one that I gave him… I can't believe I hurt that face of his, but either way he was beautiful.

"Should I have?" I asked pulling him in a little bit closer. He nodded but he still didn't look at me. I could feel the eyes of everyone in the room drawn to us. Irvine especially, although Zell was trying not to gawk; Laguna, I'm sure was thinking about protesting but he couldn't tear himself away from our little instructor over there.

"You're part of the family," he said softly after a long pause. I never really expected to hear something like that come out of Squall's mouth, but I was glad.

"Thank you… for forgiving me," I said softly. He looked up at me for a moment and gave me the hint of a smile and it made my heart race. Damn and I thought I still had the upper hand with him. "Squall… what's wrong?" I asked gently. This time he frowned.

"Nothing…"

"You know you can't pull that off with me," I whispered into his ear.

"…a lot of things…" he said looking me in the eyes for a moment before shifting awkwardly.

"I heard you and princess just moved in together…" he nodded. "Trouble in paradise?" he nodded again. "You should dump her. You're too good for her anyways."

"I'm not," he said shaking his head.

"Squall, look at me." I looked into those deep grey eyes for the first time in over a year, they were more blue than I remembered, more open and tender. I had to restrain myself a little bit. "You are."

"Excuse me," a deep voice said. I could feel the hand on my shoulder and without looking I could tell it was Kinneas, and I didn't mind that so much as the way that Squall seemed to shrink away from him. _Him…_ I thought with a frown, _god damn it._ "Mind letting me cut in?" he drawled.

"Actually I do mind." I said, leading Squall in another direction.

"Awe, come on. Don't be a Squall hog," He came on all honey and sugar and I just wanted to sock the guy. I could tell what he wanted, hell I wanted it too. But from the way that Squall avoided his eyes, more than the way he had avoided mine after everything that had happened I knew something was up.

"You should go back off," I said softly.

"Guys…" Squalls said softly but I ignored him.

"What business is it of yours? I want to talk to Squall," he said grabbing my arm. Bad idea buddy. I was about to raise my arm and smack him on his ass when Squall grabbed it roughly.

"People are staring," he said his voice tinged with anger. "Why the hell do you have to make a scene in front all of the gardens not to mention one of our enemies? Are you trying to make my job impossible?"

"Sorry babe," Irvine said so gently that I wanted to sock him again but Squall was still holding my arm. He knew me so well.

"Commander," Fuj said, I could tell she was going to say the same thing Squall had, just with fewer words.

"Fine, but I'll catch you later okay Squall?" He was still glaring at me but he nodded. Kinneas moved in closer but Squall sidestepped him and headed out onto the balcony.


End file.
